Really don't know where to start did not sleep really good. So was tired when I woke up took Olsen out went back to sleep for a while. Woke up about 10 I took Olsen outside to brush him it was so humid even though the sun was not out sweat was just dripping off me Larissa came and I went to the school Billy who was in the fight on Monday got arrested today. I don't know what for they took him away in handcuffs. I'm glad I didn't see it. He's only in sixth grade his home life is awful. It's amazing he even comes to school it makes me so sad. Some of these kids will never have a chance and it is not their fault. All they see as violence it is the only thing they know. Times like this are when I feel so helpless about our world. I am just filled with sadness right now for Billy and for all the kids and for the kid I was and still are. The ones that are crying so loud inside that I feel I will burst into tears any moment I am dictating with voice right now.
I was supposed to go out with Stacey
Sorry this is such a downer of a post I think I'll stop now because I'm not feeling any better
, but I wasn't feeling good at all. Really I'm still not, I have a headache and my stomach feels queasy and I am not firmly planted. I am Thinking I didn't have enough water today. I forgot to bring my water bottle with me when I went to school I am having that stupid heat stuff again. I thought it was over, why can't anything ever be over? I told the psycho dad about Brian. He is always telling me to let him call this person or that person that he wants to help. So what do you think happened when I told him? He said, it's only money let it go. Now, does anybody understand why I have all these problems? I debated for weeks whether to tell him I didn't want to unleash him on anybody. Because I thought he would be so angry and what does he do? tell me to forget it. It took me for ever to pay off the computer. it is Not like I have a lot of money. I just don't understand when I think I have him figured out. When I think maybe I can predict what he will do. He said something like this. My brother wants a computer and he was saying to the mom that they should buy one for him. I just don't understand. Not that I want him to pay for my computer. Not at all, because I don't want to owe him anything but why would he offer to buy my brother a computer? He's made a mess of his life is living with them for at least the fourth time they're doing everything for him and he wants to buy him a computer and I paid all my bills and he tells me it's only money let it go? I don't understand
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