feeling so tired, but some better

where to start I am off of another list.  Now I know why on the second day that the group was even formed the lady asked if she was too controlling will now I can answer yes she's sure the hell is.
Without going into everything, because I can't bear to go through it again.  She picked so much a part and made so many assumptions.  Just from me asking one question, she wrote 4 long e-mail and I can tell you another thing.  She is one of the most paranoid persons I have ever met.

Enough of that I am finally feeling better thank goodness I haven't been out anywhere since Wednesday.  I could've went to the schools today, but I knew I would be so tired and boy was I right I slept most of the day.  And I'm sure I'll have no problem sleeping tonight.  My neck is hurting, but it's not too bad.  I thought I had to go to the dentist tomorrow.  I'm so glad I don't.  It's not till October 30 I have been eating so much the last couple of days I feel like a total cow I hate when mom brings food.  I can't bear to throw it out so what'll I do I eat it all and I gained weight so fast.  So the cycle continues.

I am so glad that the thorn in my side one of them anyway is no longer there.  I spend so much energy thinking and thinking about this supposed friend I hope  that She somehow gets out  of her dysfunction but to do that she would have to think of someone else's feelings beside herself.  She would have to actually talk about things that were  painful to her one thing I can understand though is I was the one that was hurting. When I finally did tell her she didn't even respond to my e-mail.  Then when I brought it up she said the reason that she didn't respond, was because she didn't know what to say.  And she was hurting too much about it

 

So she was to hurt to talk about how hurt I was and I am so direct that she felt intimidated?  Anyway, it's ludicrous, then she says she wishes I would have told her in February?  so if i were to tell her in feb it would have let her be able to talk about it?  But because I wrote her a couple months ago.  It was too painful for her to talk about, but she wishes, I would've told her in February.  Instead of waiting?  Does that make sense to anybody?  i asked her what would have been different if i would have told her in feb, in a email among other things which she didn't bother to address, just told me that she couldn't deal with it and i told her that's the problem, she never can deal with anything, so nothing ever gets dealt with.  But this way she could be a victim and make it somehow my fault.  And that's okay, if she needs to do that.  I just don't think she's capable of thinking of other people.  She says, how much she cares for people how compassionate she is but yet she doesn't pick up the phone.  Even after she knows how much I was hurt that she hadn't called and she knew how much I was struggling about it?  Her words don't mean anything, because her actions don't support her words,

a new shows coming on called heroes.  It looks really interesting it is going  to start soon.  So guess I will go for now

 

where to start 't give up you will go further, don't give up you will see through the storm, don't give up you will have light in the darkness. I won't give up till I find out who I am.

Bj's crowd