when to the T switching lots there and lots since. Head feels really wet spoungy is the best way i can describe it. but good news, i told mom that i remembered for sure that brian's wife works for a dollar general store and what town. Its really weird how much details i can remember about things but when it comes to my life and facts its so hard any way she got in touch with his wife and he told her that he paid me most of the money and she told the mom that she has had problems with him not being truthful with her in the past and she apologized and is going to make plans with mom to bring it back so who knows i still have a chance to sell it and get money wish is great. it was so hard it T today, I know something bad happened to part of me, i know and its so hard to know, the psyco dad was theatening me to stay quiet he had a lighter and he actually burned my face with it and said if i didnt stay quiet he would burn us up and no one would ever find us; I am trying to stay disconnected I dont know who inside actually was there but as i type my  face is hurting  and it really feels like a burn. I always though it was a birth mark, thats what the parents said it was I havent asked the T if she ever called the trauma place i am too scared too, I just dont feel strong and i feel me and a few others here are in the minority in that we want to live, that is so scary and i don't know whats driving the others to have the position they do that life isnt for us, its scary and its draining and hard to keep going, to keep the good face the "normal" face the face that everyone wants to see, the face that i feel more and more is nothing but a lie, that I myself are a lie someone put here to hide the darkness that is within, what I truly am.
I ate pizza today and I am doing better than i thought and my stomach feels ok not queezy or anything although my stomach is  hurting a lot and i won't go into that any further which i am sure ppl would appreciate LOL

Have to take Olsen for a check up tomorrow. nothing is wrong just routien. I saw the funniest movie, fun with dick and Jane its halirious LOL any way going to get ready for bed
Barb and US