boring rainy tired day

I am really tired today. i dont feel like going any where and trying to save money and if i go out i spend so not going, but even tho i dont feel like going anywhere, it seems when i stay in the house the depression takes hold. I have asked larissa, not to talk about my weight. well i bought a pair of shorts week before last, size med and they fit but where tight and i mean she started yelling at me that i should have got a large and i have gained so much wieght, that she use to be able to hook my bra on the tightest hook not its on the last, but she also doesnt realize that i got rid of those and bought a smaller size.I know she doesnt know about my eating problems but i have told her on two occiasons not to say anything about my weight, i mean i have some shorts that are small and they fit fine it depends on the material, but she was yelling at me then the says dont be mad damn it just makes everything so much harder for me. 

then the mom tells us yesterday, that my soon to be x sister in law calls my brother tells him she is going out of town and he  better take the cat to the vet cause he is dying on the floor so when he gets there and takes the cat he died five min after he got there i am so livid, how can she be that cruel and she has my neices and nephew? you know that cat couldnt have gotten that sick over night, the parents went to NY this morning and they left the checks for my dentist bother at my house i know Joe is going over to his house tomorrow with the kids so i left two messages asking him to call me cause i have dan's stuff and things i bought the kids so was hoping he could stop by since he was going there any way. Of course he didnt bother to call me back, and i know what will happen is dan will call at the last min and just expect me to be available, it pisses me off cause no one thinks my life is important, and even if i am sitting at home is not even the point if i dont wanna be bothered. before they left for ny the dad said just call them once in a while to let them know i am ok, that they arent going to worry about dan or joe, i said i am the last one they should worry about, i have been on my own the longest, and i am doing better then them, of couse he wouldnt agree, he said everyone has their issues. He will always view me as less than and a "problem" just cause i sit down all the time and cant stand up and i just dont get that, why does that have to be his measuring sick of sucess? I hate him

any way writing doesnt really seem like its helping so i am going to stop, if anyone reads this thanks for listen
me myself and I