The Tea and now?

Went to the Tea, actually had an ok time, still have to watch what comes out of the mouth and Carol and Pam dont really trust me with things. The reason i feel this way is Carol asked Pam why they weren't having the Tea in the foundry and she said she would tell her later. I was the only other person there, so of course this means for some reason she doesn't trust me with the info. That does hurt. oh well. I ate what i feel is too much, hope i will keep in there tho dont want to. what am i doing here? How can I learn to like me and be happy with me? just want to leave, wish i wouldnt feel this way. bye for now from who knows who?