Hi its me who ever i am

well since the Tea things have gone down hill. I did end up purging but I did tell Dawn, which i am proud of myself for that. I just wish i liked being me. I am tired and depressed and lonely. Scared about the drama going on inside. Not wanting to know, but needing too know. sared to know, not caring to know. everything is so messed up, part of me is glad and not wanting this to get better, part scared, part wanting to find hope, part knowing there is none. part wanting to destroy myself so much, part wanting not to. part mad at the world, part cheated and defeated. part just wanting to play forever never to have an adult life and all the responsibilities that go alone with that. part in so much pain that she feels like she is dying wanting and waiting for that, part that wants the love and protection from someone anyone, part that doesnt feel she deserves that one bit, parts that want to be noticed want attention and if they can't have want they want they would rather help others do other things to make things short, life short. they feel they will never be free to be who they are, and i am thinking they are right. dont even know who is typing or where all these words are coming from, what will happen to us? it feels like a shattered piece of glass in there with lots of sharp points that never will ever fit together to make a whole. glass that needs to be slept up and put in the trash where it belongs. we just can't find the glue to fix us, its out of our reach Shattered we are for ever we will be who our the shattered pieces of me? some things are not to be known or to be shown, only to be alone