mixed emotions all jumbled up

gosh wish my head would be quiet. I am tired. I am hungry too, but have nothing to eat, not that i would eat if i did. Still freaking about what i ate today and yesterday. I thought since i ate good, i would have energy, but i dont. I wish i could be more like Olsen, peaceful without a care in the world. who know knows maybe dogs worry? i doubt it, cause if they did they wouldnt be so happy thats for sure. feeling lonely, but also feeling over loaded for some reason. My head has that wet sponge feeling, I hate that so much. Its been really nice not going out cept for yesterday. To tell ya the truth i wish i could stay in next week too. don't feel like dealing with Miya or any thing else for that matter. its gonna be hard seeing Rocky monday. Audrey and ron better let me have a few minutes alone with him before they leave. val says if they dont want to insist. I don't even deserve Olsen, he is so good. seeing Pat the other day brought so much shit back about orlando and how she was. controlling bitch.  I still can't believe how she treated me. She hasn't changed. i was so shocked to hear her voice. she said she fund film developed from orlando. she was gonna be at clearwater mall so she brought the pictures, she still can't keep a job LOL she always has conflicts with though in authority LOL surprise. wish i could just go some where, or just not have to deal with anyone for a while. even my own inside. especially my own inside. Not gonna go to dan's or moms house no way. gonna make myself go to church Sunday i will probably feel better once i am there i hope.  I will put on my fake face and deal.  i better go to bed i guess, feeling like i wanna stay there so much.