feelings I hate them

today when to the T, appt at one got there at 12:15 didnt get home till 20 after 5. tired of being so sad, tired of being mad about this DID stuff, there is nothing to do about it, but I dont have to like it. I dont care if it saved me, maybe I didnt want to be saved, no one asked me did they? maybe scared of going foward? well if it means being like this, scared has nothing to do about it what does? I dont want to period end of story and many dont want to I am not the only one, yes are we mad at god? Barb is, but as for the rest in my vincinity? we could give a fuck got it?  going to go in bed and float now