so confused

Been forever since I've written here I think it will help if I start again I went to New York I'm glad I did just don't understand why some things happened. Do I have a sign on my head that says abuse me? I just don't get it, why do people think it's okay to talk to me like I AM nothing? Yes I need help not a lot of help but I do need some I was trying so hard to put my bra on I could not do it

Things take me so much longer than the average person for the most part. So why do people complain about things that take them literally two seconds? I will never understand that, the therapist said we are entitled to be warm and comfortable. But how does she know that? Just because other people are entitled to that doesn't mean that we are.

What makes a person entitled to those things? Just because they're on the earth? Because there are a lot of people on the earth and lots of them aren't warm or comfortable and they never have been, they were told they were enemies of their families and told that the problems in the family were their fault but the therapist said what happened was not our fault with the cousins

If so many people feel the same way about us, it must be something we're doing or that we did? I wish so much we can go away because I just don't think we belong here. I think we never have I know they say that God doesn't make mistakes but I just feel sometimes that maybe he did with us?

It's hard not to think that if our body wasn't broken that maybe those people would love us, people say to your face that they love you but if that were true they would never hurt you in the first place

it so hard to feel like you don't belong to anyone or anywhere and it is so hard to know that you never will, cause a person can truly only have one mom and dad, the body is too old to be adopted :( this makes us want to cry and cry

I don't understand why God has made the choices that he has. I know they say God doesn't punish people especially when they're trying to be good but we can't help but think we did something wrong, something to be punished for because almost from the start we were hurt by people that are supposed to love us

We are just confused about everything, people always say God has a reason for everything but what could it be his reason for this?

We will go now and write more tomorrow

MANY BUT NO ONE